When I was a sophomore in high school, I met a freshman by the name of Brent. There was one thing very unique about Brent. He was completely bald. He didn’t shave his head. He had never brought a razor to his scalp once in his life. No. His hair had started falling out in middle school, and by the time he was fourteen, Brent was a cueball.
As you can imagine, bald little Brent was not all too popular with the ladies. He had tried a panorama of regenerative hair products to delay the inevitable balding, but alas all his efforts were in vain. So of course, when his beard started coming in, he endeavored to have the biggest, thickest, bushiest beard in school. What was the Holy Grail to bald little Brent’s beard growing quest? Stemoxydine.
Stemoxydine? If you were like me, you may have asked, What the heck is stemoxydine?’ Maybe you even asked, How the heck do you pronounce stemoxydine?’ Stemoxydine might sound like some sort of toxic chemical—well technically it is a toxic chemical. Consuming the stuff can’t possibly be good for you—but the substance is really a hair restoration product. And a good one at that.
Making use of the last twenty years of research on stem cells and hair regeneration, scientists at L’Oréal have developed a synthetic material known as stemoxydine—also known as Neogenic—which supposedly has miraculous hair restoring properties. Researchers created stemoxydine with the intention of decreasing hair loss and increasing hair density, but it’s currently on the market with very little testing and very high prices.
Although scientists claim that stemoxydine makes use of hypoxia to best regenerate hair because the absence of oxygen facilitates cellular survival, consumers have reported complaints of headaches and little results. Some users have noted that using stemoxydine stopped further hair loss but did little in regenerating lost hair while other users have praised the product with glowing reviews. But how does it work? If it works.
How It Works
Countless men and women struggling with hair loss have turned to a variety of hair care products to protect the precious little hair they have left. Hundreds upon thousands of people have found dozens after dozens of regenerative hair products to be nothing more than modern day snake oil. Some have even caused hair loss. Too many have simply shrugged their shoulders in defeat and accepted living out the remainder of their days balder than hairless naked mole rats. But what about stemoxydine? Could there be hope for the follically-challenged?
For the longest time now, minoxidil has led the regenerative hair care market. Reviewers herald minoxidil as just about the only regenerative hair product that works, but minoxidil’s intense side effects have kept all too many from their dreams of a thick head of hair.
Minoxidil users have complained of developing sudden allergic reactions, oozing skin, raging pimples, burning sensations, and infuriating itches. But they do end up with awesome beards. Epic beards. Beards so epic you’d think they stepped out of a time machine from the 1800s. Unfortunately, the side effects are so belligerent that many users quit the stuff in short time. And when they do, those epic beards they’ve been cultivating shed like dandelion seeds off their scraggly chins.
In comes Stemoxydine. Stemoxydine utilizes a somewhat unconventional method of promoting and proliferating hair regeneration. The active molecule in question is “diethyl pyridine dicarboxylate” which isolates stem cells by establishing an anaerobic environment in the derma papilla. One would extrapolate that the inhibition of oxidation would increase cellular longevity. Latent hair cells re-enter the anagen phase, and voila—more hair.
The best thing about stemoxydine is that the only major complaint from users is the accompanying headaches. Compared to the multitude of egregious side effects that is the baggage in a relationship with minoxidil, stemoxydine seems like a titillating mistress awaiting the pleasure of your company in chic lingerie.
The biggest downside to stemoxydine however, is that users have complained about the time it takes to work. Advertised at 1,700 new hairs in three months, stemoxydine draws skepticism from consumers, but they do notice visible results within that time frame. Unfortunately, stemoxydine is awfully expensive.
The Redken Cerafill is on the cheaper end of things at around $85 for 180ml, and Kerastase Densifique sits higher on the shelf at about $125 for 180ml. On average, stemoxydine users can expect to shell out around $150 a month for a one month supply, costing at least around $450 before any results are even noticeable. It’s easy to see why so many can be skeptical of the stuff when the product takes so long to work and costs so much to use.
To compare, minoxidil typically ranges around a third of the price of stemoxydine; however, minoxidil, although acknowledged as more effective and celeritous than stemoxydine, does have some very serious side effects. I would recommend minoxidil if the side effects aren’t particularly bothersome for you and if stemoxydine happens to be out of your price range, but buyer beware. Some people have suffered extremely severe side effects from using minoxidil. Stemoxydine is at the apex of quality, bothering you with no more than a headache in exchange for the return of your long lost hair.
For those anxious eager beavers who can’t wait to grow out a beard and look manly, experts highly recommend that you have patience before turning to these hair regeneration products. Many men do not start to develop much more facial hair than peach fuzz until their late 20s, and experts think it best to allow hair growth to develop at normal rates as opposed to hazard potential health risks solely to have a beard on your chin a couple years sooner than your genes would allow.
However, stemoxydine does have some quite positive reviews, averaging around four to four and a half stars on sites like Amazon, Ulta, and L’Oréal under various brands such as Neogenic, Serioxyl, Kerastase, Redken, etc. Meanwhile, minoxidil averages around three to three and a half stars under its respective brands in the same locations.
I can’t help but wonder what ever happened to Brent. Last I heard, he was living in his mother’s basement playing World of Warcraft every day because he was too shy to ever leave the house because he was bald. Don’t be like Brent. Buy Stemoxydine.